By Crabby McSlacker
Should we be worried about the impact of so much easily accessible technology on our fragile human brains?
There is much hand-wringing on the subject, and even a little research out there. Are portable machines turning our minds into mush, screwing with our relationships, infantalizing us, and disconnecting us from reality? Not to mention causing us to walk in front of buses and plunge off piers into large bodies of water?
Maybe! But that’s not today’s post.
Today I’m just doing a quick lazy show-and-tell about a couple of recent technological finds. One of them I even invented myself!
1. Crabby’s Android Keyboard Also Functions as a Handy Diagnostic Tool!
Who needs a carefully designed psychological questionnaires or visits to costly mental health service providers to assess your mental state?
If you have a phone like mine, that allows you to generate punctuation marks without opening a second keyboard, just by long-pressing letter keys, you have all the info you need on your functional (or dysfunctional) frame of mind.
Wondering whether you should you take a few deep breaths or a walk around the block before attempting something demanding, like brain surgery, a discussion with a hormonal teenager, or a call to any sort of customer service department? Or are you already good to go?
Just text someone something that requires an exclamation point on my phone! It’s an excellent diagnostic tool.
In my clumsy hands, long pressing on a virtual keyboard is just tricky enough to require at least a minimally stable frame of mind. If I don’t do it right, I don’t generate a “!” I end up with an “a” instead. Of course the more stressed I am, the more I want to Exclaim!!! (Or, on some days, Exclaimaaaaa). Then the more times it takes me to get it right, the pissier I get. Especially once I realize it would have been so, so much faster to just switch keyboards in the first place. But at least I know: Crabby, time to chill.
Note: this also works as an intoxication assessment device as well. Too much caffeine or wine? Your keyboard will let you know. Cheersaaaaa and all, but better call a cab.
2. Random Inspiration.
I’m probably the last human to discover this, but I’m now kind of addicted to this site. It recalled the joy I experienced when I first stumbled on Terrible Real Estate Photos .
So Inspirobot is simply a site with random computer generated inspirational memes.
Sometimes they are not funny. But sometimes they are hilariously nonsensical, and sometimes they are strangely spot on. I think my favorites though, are the ones that at first just seem random and weird, but then you think about them longer, and, if your brain is as messed up as mine, you start actually seeing some truth in them. Here were some of my results from last session.
Well no, they are also designed to crap on your car.
Think about this one for a bit, it’s very Zen. Many people think they need the storm even on sunny days, don’t you find?
Just don’t tell your primary care physician this when she’s aiming anything hypodermic in your direction.